As I’ve been plugging away at the Game Boy’s launch titles I’ve been hemming and hawing on when to talk about Super Mario Land. It seems like one of those games that I should cover with intent, you know? It’s got The Guy on it! The funny Italian one! So I waited. Then I thought about it some more and like…I think there’s enough Mario to be had on this system? We can do this now. It’s fine.
The Yokoi-led R&D1 division designed this game specifically for the system’s launch, opting to not simply port the NES games in favor of making something wholly new, and boy can you tell! The moment to moment feel of movement is pretty Mario-ish, but everything else is jarringly different. Fireballs? No, superballs that ricochet at angles that’d make your geometry teacher blush! Enemies aplenty that have barely returned beyond the backgrounds of games like Mario Kart World: Moai, Jiangshi, giant flies that turn into horrible skeletons on death that just…linger, and my new favorite: Pipe That Just Has A Fist In It. You get dropped off in later worlds by an unexplained UFO? Picking up a star plays the Can-Can for some reason? There are side scrolling shmup sections??? This Mario guy needs to calm the hell down, he’s gonna overstimulate the soon-to-be-90’s kids!
All of these choices coalesce into a play experience that feels…weird. You ever play a bootleg that was simultaneously flagrantly incorrect but well made on a technical level? I have, and this would certainly qualify for the list if it was lacking the Nintendo seal. The differences chafed at first. My muscle memory betrayed me semi-regularly, I couldn’t hit a rubber ball shot to save my life, all the sound effects being off kept throwing me for a loop, and…it’s really small? Like everything is tiny. I remember playing this as a kid on a friend’s GB, and even then I remember thinking “oof, ow, my eyes” before handing it back. It doesn’t help that I’d already played the sequel by that point, but that’s a comparison for another day!
Eventually I acclimated, played the game on its own terms, and took some time to think after beating it a couple times, which is less impressive than it sounds considering this consists of a whole 4 levels. A lot of thought has gone into the following opinion, so I’d appreciate if you treat it with the respect it deserves, OK? Here goes:
Mario Land is…good.
Good! Not great, but good. Weird, but I’d argue not weird enough, especially given the reputation it’s built over the years as “the odd one”. Plenty enjoyable in the moment, but so bite sized that it feels more like a tech demo than a full first-party release, which is honestly apt given the circumstances of its development. There’s also a little bit of discomfort in the last world, which opens with the auditory equivalent of Wonton font before transitioning into my favorite track of what ends up being a fairly punchy OST overall. It’s solid enough head to tail, but nothing about it really stands out beyond the areas where it most significantly diverges from established series convention. The whole thing is just a bit wonky.
Yet, this wonkiness is core to what makes Super Mario Land such an ideal launch title for the handheld. Sure it’s not a better game than home console Marios, and frankly I don’t think anyone reasonable would’ve expected it to be, but it was built from top to bottom to provide the exact experience Yokoi and team intended for the Game Boy on launch: short play sessions of games designed specifically for its play conditions. How long did you really want to stare at the DMG’s pea soup screen? Just long enough to beat SML again, probably! Playing this on better hardware almost betrays the game design a bit, highlighting seams that were less apparent at the time. I don’t love SML, but I do respect the design chops on display greatly. You’re not my favorite launch title, Mr. Land, but you’ve left me with even more respect for Nintendo’s funny little brick as well as the minds behind it, and I appreciate that!
Wack Game Boy Zone 
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